My new find of the week!

I just added this song to my song list...it's from a new tv show called "Glee" which I discovered last week. Love it! This song got me hooked! Very cute show, and I really enjoy the songs. The message is great. Just wanted to share my new find :0)

On the adoption front, there's not much going on over here in Quebec just yet...but there have been some proposals in the U.S. and in France as well, I believe. So that's very good news, and very encouraging!! A bloggy friend from the States whose blog I've been following for the past few months is in the Philippines right now with her husband, bringing home their two year old son...and another local bloggy friend is leaving for the Philippines in just a few short days. So exciting!! It's great to see that things are moving again over there. I also came across a fellow blogger from Belgium, adopting their second child from the Philippines. It's very cool meeting people from all over the world going through the same thing as us!! I'm particularly excited that she speaks Dutch :0)

There's not much else new. My husband and I got our H1N1 flu shots. He was kind of against it at first, but I convinced him that it was important to get it done if we were planning on travelling. Some countries even require it right now for travelling. That convinced him, since he doesn't want to miss out on our trip to Cuba! Besides, I went to the clinic and got him a coupon, and he didn't really have much choice in the matter! Hahaha!! In exchange, he insists I let him put up the Christmas tree early this year. Oh well, I guess you win some, you lose some...the art of negotiation!

I got laser eye surgery a few days ago. It's pretty impressive what they can do with technology nowadays! The operation takes all of five minutes: they put a suction thing to keep the eye open...they start the laser and it smells like burnt hair for a couple of seconds...then they explain to you it's going to go black for thirty seconds...then you find the red light of the laser again, and the operation is done. And the do the other eye, same thing. It's very fast! When you come out of the operation, your eyes want to stay closed, and your vision is pretty blurry for a couple of days. It's kind of like opening your eyes underwater. There is a burning and itching sensation for a few days as well. It's about a week later now, and my vision is improving everyday. By the time we leave for Cuba I should be 100% recovered, and I'll be allowed to swim. Yay!! For now, my eyes still tire easily and I get blurry vision when I watch tv or read for too long. Staring at the computer screen for too long is not recommended either, obviously!! That will take a few weeks, but it's so worth it for the freedom from glasses!!

On that note, I should go and rest my eyes...hope you enjoy the song!

Nine months since ICAB approval!!

Yep, it's official...we've been waiting for nine months now!! Although the wait has actually gone pretty well so far and the time has flown by for the most part, I've been having a bit of a hard time the last few weeks. I could see the nine month mark looming, the equivalent of a full pregnancy, with nothing to show for it!! Since we received our ICAB approval, there hasn't really been any news to report on the adoption front. The realization that we will likely be waiting another nine months before we hear anything hit me kind of hard, and I find this thought pretty depressing. But, as Raph always reminds me when I talk like that, what does it help or change to worry and stress about the adoption?! It's not going to make the wait go faster, it's a waste of time and energy. It's much better to put that time and energy into something positive and useful. His attitude is to simply go with the flow, and trust that our turn will come. In the meantime, we should enjoy our time together as a couple, because everything will change soon enough. I know that he's right and that this is a healthy attitude to have towards the wait. I'm probably more emotional and open about showing my emotions and fears than Raph is, but I'm trying to take a page from his book. Now that we've reached the nine month mark, I'm feeling calmer and more at ease about waiting for another nine months. Last weekend, we were invited to breakfast with some local families in the process of adopting from the Philippines. It's always so nice to meet other people going through the same thing as us!! I feel very lucky to have that opportunity. We got a chance to catch up a little and exchange some information with Tangie and Michel as well, a couple whom we've already had the occasion to get togethet with a few times since this summer. It was super interesting and fun to hear about her adventures in Morocco :0) Also, we finally got to meet a family whom we've been in contact with through e-mail for the past few months. They're adopting their second child from the Philippines, and have a lot of experience and knowledge to share with us. It's so wonderful to get to know these different families, especially since they all live so close to us. It will be great for our children in the future :0) Who knows, our children might come from the same orphanage in the Philippines!! I really appreciate having been invited to this event.

Raph and I celebrated our nine month anniversary by getting our vaccination for hepatitis. It's a vaccination that's given in three parts 9or three shots!) to be protected for life, basically. So it looks like we'll be celebrating our ten month anniversary with a second shot :0) It's actually quite expensive to get the vaccine! I was quite surprised. We'll have to see if our health insurance will cover it, but I doubt it. Raph and I are flying to Cuba during the Christmas holidays, and we were told that we need to get vaccinated for hepatitis anyway when flying to the Philippines, so we decided to go ahead and get the first two shots before travelling. The vaccine is not mandatory, but it is highly recommended. We got a tetanus shot as well, which they also recommend for both Cuba and the Philippines. This shot is good for ten years, so I think we should be okay :0) Thank you Tangie, for telling us about the vaccine and giving us information on the travel clinic where you went!! The nurse was very kind and helpful, she was patient and understanding and took the time to explain all of the vaccines to us. We had good, rapid and efficient service!! We'll be going back in December for our second hepatitis shot, and then in May for the rest of the vaccines she recommends for the Philippines. It feels good to be doing something concrete towards the adoption process. I've been feeling like we have no control and that all we can do is sit by and wait patiently...so it's really nice to actually be doing something. Who knew I would feel happy about getting shots?!

On reaching the eight month mark...

I took a break from blogging for a while...I've been feeling quite discouraged and frustrated lately. There's not much new to report these days, and I haven't really felt like writing. We hit our eight month mark, and I barely noticed. Or rather, I barely acknowledged it. All I could think was "wonderful, we've been waiting for eight months! Hurray!! Uhmmm....so, now what? I guess we just sit around and wait another ten months or so by the phone to get the call...great! If I'd gotten pregnant, I could technically have had two kids by then!!" This is my inner dialogue, as I go from celebrating being one step closer to having our child home with us, to feeling completely discouraged and frustrated with how long the process is taking!! Actually, a few of our friends and family have gotten pregnant and have given birth (or will soon), while we still wait for our referral!! Now I know that it's not a race, and I am very happy for my friends, Raph's cousins, and my older sister...but it's still pretty frustrating. Frankly, it's really hard when these happy pregnancy announcements are made, followed by the inevitable question: "so what about you guys? How's the adoption going?!" To which we can only answer time after time again that we still haven't heard anything, and don't expect to hear anything for another ten months or so!! Of course, if people don't ask, then it might be taken as a sign of lack of interest, so I guess I will continue to smile and politely answer that inevitable question for the next ten months or so :0) Such is required by social etiquette...

Things have been moving very slowly over here in Quebec on the adoption front...there haven't been any new referrals in the past couple of months. Of course, it's very understandable...the Philippines has been hit hard by three different Typhoons and flooding in the past couple of months. I know that it's very selfish of me to even be thinking about our adoption when people have lost their lives...and yet, I am thinking about it a lot. I feel very helpless in the face of this destruction by mother nature...we sent a donation, but it doesn't feel like it's enough. I wish I could go to the Philippines and help out, be there in person to provide some sort of assistance or humanitarian aid. I know that our turn will come to travel to the Philippines, and that it's only a question of time at this point...but in the meantime, I feel so powerless and helpless!! Patience has never been my strong point...nor Raphael's!! I sometimes wonder if we aren't being put through this adoption process by some higher power just to teach us a lesson in patience :0)

Everyone says that the best thing you can do to get through the long process of the wait, which I completely understand is a necessary part of the adoption process, is keeping busy. By keeping busy with positive projects, you don't have time to fret and worry about the adoption. While we were moving and I was teaching at the College, this was the case. I didn't see the time go by. Since we've settled into our new house, the fall has started and I'm working part-time with young children...well, I have too much time on my hands to think about the adoption. I am looking to change jobs...something more full-time...and I am looking for a new project. There are a few writing projects that I've been wanting to try for a couple of years now...but never had the courage. I have the time now, so I'm thinking of trying it. I just need to be very self-disciplined about it. A recent e-mail from a bloggy friend reminded me how much I enjoy writing, and how therapeutic it can be as well! Another bloggy friend e-mailed me to invite us to a breakfast for local families adopting from the Philippines. I want to thank my bloggy friends for being there for me and for cheering me up!! thank you :0)

A Prayer for the People of Manila

On Saturday, Manila was hit with nine hours straight of torrential rains, the result of a tropical storm. This caused major landslides and floods, the worst in forty years, and most of the city was under brown water on Sunday. The government has declared "a State of Calamity." The images are quite heart wrenching. The poorer areas of the city were hit the hardest. Here are links to two different articles and some images:
http://archive.gulfnews.com/world/Philippines/10352613.html
http://www.lefigaro.fr/international/2009/09/27/01003-20090927DIMWWW00088-inondations-meurtrieres-aux-philippines.php?yahoo=1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7_FzvBF6RpU

I cannot help but wonder about the orphanages in Manila and the little ones and their caretakers. I hope that they are safe and sound, that they are not cold, hungry or frightened. But, we all know how important children are to the Filipinos, and this reassures me that they are in very good hands and that they will be the first to receive help. I have no doubt that they are being well taken care of.

My heart goes out to the people of the Philippines; my thoughts and prayers are with those affected by the floods. Through the adoption process, my husband and I are forever connected to this country and its people. We would love to find a way to help. Making a donation to the Red Cross is a great way to do this. Or sponsoring a child. There are unfortunately a number of scams out there, people who try to take advantage of situations like this to pull on people's heart strings and make some money off of them. So please be careful, be aware and stick to the well known, reputed organisations like the Red Cross.

A rant post

Okay, this is a rant post!
I truly believe that working in the field of adoption requires a certain tact, a certain sensibility. Those who don't have it naturally should either receive a training or simply work elsewhere!! I received a phone call about a week ago from our local Youth Centre to inform me that they were missing a few documents in our adoption file. I gave her the name of the lady who helped us back in Amos, where we lived before. The lady back in Amos is a very nice, helpful lady and she had promised to forward our documents to our local centre over here in Gatineau. Amos is a very small town, and everything was very personalized over there. The people were all very helpful and understanding and always had all the time in the world to answer any of our questions. Our registration went very smoothly, and I was sad when I had to call them to transfer our documents to Gatineau. Apparently, they did not receive all of the paper work in Gatineau, and there were still some documents missing. So I gave the lady the contact information, and she was going to contact the Youth Centre in Amos concerning the missing documents. She left me a message on my answering machine, telling me that everything was in order. Yesterday, the lady from our local Youth Centre called me back, telling me that the documents were still missing. Huh?! Then she told me that they need the originals of these documents in order for us to go into adoption. What did she say?! In order for us to adopt? Uhm....we received our acceptance from the Philippines almost eight months ago...we sent off our file a long time ago!! And they're asking for these documents NOW? The originals left for the Philippines eight months ago!! What is this?! Maybe I'm overreacting, but I felt very frustrated...she was very insensitive and unsympathetic...and not helpful in the least. I got together copies of the originals of the documents that she asked for, and gave them to my husband to fax to her from his office. When I told him the story, he was very upset too. My practical, logical husband reacted quite emotionally, to my surprise...which made me realize that maybe I hadn't overreacted, and that the wait for adoption is going very well for my husband, but only as long as there are no bumps in the road!! Usually he's the strong one and he sees bumps in the road as a challenge and a learning process, not as a deterrent. But when it comes to adoption, he seems to find this more difficult to do!! Anyway, he wanted to talk to her himself to find out exactly why they need the original version of these documents all of a sudden. We can understand why they might need a copy of our birth certificates and our marriage certificate, but why didn't they have it in Amos already!? Most importantly, why wasn't she more helpful and understanding? She should be working with us to figure it out, not against us! Like I said before, working at a fertility clinic or in the field of adoption requires a certain tact, a certain level of sympathy and understanding. If you don't have it, then you should probably work elsewhere!! Arghhh.....

The best day of all...

This is from an e-mail that my mom forwarded to me, on motherhood:

The young mother set her foot on the path of life. “Is this the long way?” she asked. And the guide said: “Yes, and the way is hard. And you will be old before you reach the end of it. But the end will be better than the beginning.” But the young mother was happy, and she would not believe that anything could be better than playing with her children, and gathering flowers for them along the way, and bathing them in the clear streams. Then the night came, and the storm, and the path was dark, and the children shook with fear and cold, and the mother drew them close and covered them with her mantle, and the children said, “Mother, we are not afraid, for you are near, and no harm can come.”
And the morning came, and there was a hill ahead, and the children climbed and grew weary, and the mother was weary. But at all times she said to the children,” A little patience and we are there.” So the children climbed, and when they reached the top they said, “Mother, we would not have done it without you.” And the mother, when she lay down at night looked up at the stars and said, “This is a better day than the last, for my children have learned fortitude in the face of hardness. Yesterday I gave them courage. Today, I have given them strength.”
And the next day came strange clouds which darkened the earth, clouds of war and hate and evil, and the children groped and stumbled, and the mother said, “Look up. Lift your eyes to the light.” And the children looked and saw above the clouds an everlasting glory, and it guided them beyond the darkness. And that night the Mother said, “This is the best day of all, for I have shown my children God.”
And the days went on, and the weeks and the months and the years, and the mother grew old and she was little and bent. But her children were tall and strong, and walked with courage. And when the way was rough, they lifted her for she was as light as a feather; and at last they came to a hill, and beyond they could see a shining road and golden gates flung wide. And mother said: “I have reached the end of my journey. And now I know the end is better than the beginning, for my children can walk alone, and their children after them.”
And the children said, “You will always walk with us, Mother, even when you have gone through the gates.” And they stood and watched her as she went on alone, and the gates closed after her. And they said: “We cannot see her, but she is with us still. A Mother like ours is more than a memory. Her love is eternal.” (Author unknown)

I think it's quite beautiful, and very fitting! I only hope I can be this kind of mother for our child someday.

Seven months since ICAB approval!!

Today is my dad's birthday!! Happy birthday...have a great day!
My parents were in town for the long weekend. My husband and I went to Montreal for labor day. We went out for lunch at a really nice restaurant by the river. We sat outside and ate in the garden of the hotel restaurant. The weather was beautiful and the food was delicious! I got to see my sister and meet her new boyfriend as well, which was great. He seems like a very nice guy! We had a BBQ at my brother's house in the evening, and then we drove back home. On Tuesday, Raphael went back to work. We had a good time together, especially the last week of his vacation. The first few days, he did a lot of projects around the house and ran errands. It took him a few days to relax and unwind...
We went to the hot air balloon festival in our town. It was actually fun! It's kind of like a big fair. We checked out the stands and the shows. In the evening, we went to go watch the hot air balloons set up and take off. Unfortunately, there was too much wind and they weren't allowed to take off. It was too dangerous. Oh well, maybe next year...
At night, Kenny Rogers gave a show. Our bracelets gave us access to this as well, so we decided to go and check it out. There were a lot of people! We're not huge fans of his, but Raphael likes his song "The Gambler."
My parents came to visit us in Ottawa on Tuesday. They had lunch with some friends, and then came over to see our new house and have dinner with us. It was a short but sweet visit!

Job wise, I've started working for the Y. I'm enjoying working with the kids! I've been offered the Supervisor position for the kindergarten group. The pay and the hours aren't great though...compared to my job where we lived before!! I'm also doing some substitute teaching here and there. Still, I continue to send out my CV and go to interviews to find something more interesting, something more in my field...even if it's part-time. So, we'll see what happens...

I just realized that it is also our seven month anniversary. I usually think about it a few days ahead...I didn't see it coming at all this month. I haven't been online as much lately, I've been spending time with Raph...and job hunting! Yay!! We're another step closer. I think about the Philippines and the adoption a lot. My mom asked me what exactly Raph and I expect from her and his mom when we go to get our child. I couldn't really answer that question. I'm not quite sure what to expect myself! She wanted to know if we want them waiting for us at the airport, or later...how did we see this. It's a very reasonable question...it made the whole adoption suddenly seem very real!! I will definitely want to introduce our child to his grand-parents and his aunts and uncles as soon as possible!! I haven't figured out how to do this yet without overwhelming the child. Also, I want to be protective and ensure that bonding and attachment happens in those first months. I think my mom had the best plan when she suggested that we simply introduce and integrate our child into our life gradually, with one couple at a time. All of our family and friends will be eager and curious to meet our child. We'll have to slowly build our way up to big group get togethers!! Raph and I can't wait...and I realize that my family and friends(especially my mom and Raph's mom!) are very eager and excited for us too. It's nice to feel such support!! We're going to have to think of a nice way to announce our referral as well...well, we still have some time to come up with an idea. The problem is, I keep thinking "oh, it's still far away...there's still lots of time..." But, it's going to happen when we least expect it...