Sunday, November 1, 2009

On reaching the eight month mark...

I took a break from blogging for a while...I've been feeling quite discouraged and frustrated lately. There's not much new to report these days, and I haven't really felt like writing. We hit our eight month mark, and I barely noticed. Or rather, I barely acknowledged it. All I could think was "wonderful, we've been waiting for eight months! Hurray!!, now what? I guess we just sit around and wait another ten months or so by the phone to get the call...great! If I'd gotten pregnant, I could technically have had two kids by then!!" This is my inner dialogue, as I go from celebrating being one step closer to having our child home with us, to feeling completely discouraged and frustrated with how long the process is taking!! Actually, a few of our friends and family have gotten pregnant and have given birth (or will soon), while we still wait for our referral!! Now I know that it's not a race, and I am very happy for my friends, Raph's cousins, and my older sister...but it's still pretty frustrating. Frankly, it's really hard when these happy pregnancy announcements are made, followed by the inevitable question: "so what about you guys? How's the adoption going?!" To which we can only answer time after time again that we still haven't heard anything, and don't expect to hear anything for another ten months or so!! Of course, if people don't ask, then it might be taken as a sign of lack of interest, so I guess I will continue to smile and politely answer that inevitable question for the next ten months or so :0) Such is required by social etiquette...

Things have been moving very slowly over here in Quebec on the adoption front...there haven't been any new referrals in the past couple of months. Of course, it's very understandable...the Philippines has been hit hard by three different Typhoons and flooding in the past couple of months. I know that it's very selfish of me to even be thinking about our adoption when people have lost their lives...and yet, I am thinking about it a lot. I feel very helpless in the face of this destruction by mother nature...we sent a donation, but it doesn't feel like it's enough. I wish I could go to the Philippines and help out, be there in person to provide some sort of assistance or humanitarian aid. I know that our turn will come to travel to the Philippines, and that it's only a question of time at this point...but in the meantime, I feel so powerless and helpless!! Patience has never been my strong point...nor Raphael's!! I sometimes wonder if we aren't being put through this adoption process by some higher power just to teach us a lesson in patience :0)

Everyone says that the best thing you can do to get through the long process of the wait, which I completely understand is a necessary part of the adoption process, is keeping busy. By keeping busy with positive projects, you don't have time to fret and worry about the adoption. While we were moving and I was teaching at the College, this was the case. I didn't see the time go by. Since we've settled into our new house, the fall has started and I'm working part-time with young children...well, I have too much time on my hands to think about the adoption. I am looking to change jobs...something more full-time...and I am looking for a new project. There are a few writing projects that I've been wanting to try for a couple of years now...but never had the courage. I have the time now, so I'm thinking of trying it. I just need to be very self-disciplined about it. A recent e-mail from a bloggy friend reminded me how much I enjoy writing, and how therapeutic it can be as well! Another bloggy friend e-mailed me to invite us to a breakfast for local families adopting from the Philippines. I want to thank my bloggy friends for being there for me and for cheering me up!! thank you :0)


  1. Welcome back Amber! :o)
    It's great to read you once more.
    Congratulations to you and Raphaël on your 8 months!! When we "met" you were only at 3 months!! And now 8!!! Actually, soon 9!!! It's the hardest thing!! I sympathize with you so whole-heartedly. xx

  2. So glad you're back to blogging! You were missed! I understand how you're feeling..I've been feeling the same way. It has been depressing to hear the bad news, and not be able to do anything about it. It's also been difficult because there hasn't been a proposal since July. I was just thinking about the wait and how the passage of time seems to have slowed considerably, and I reminded myself that Christmas is just around the corner...I know I can keep myself busy until at least Christmas! After Christmas...I'll need a new challenge. I know the wait is hard...try not to be discouraged...we're all in the same boat...I'm glad to have met you as we travel this road're not alone!

  3. I can totally relate to how you feel. I always need a project on the go or something to look forward to or else time moves too slowly. Now time moving slowly is a good thing, unless you're waiting for a referral or you're waiting to travel. Once my child is home, it's fine for time to drag along although at that point, time will fly by!

    Congrats on reaching the 8 month mark. For some reason I found that time flew by from 8 - 14 months but here lately all I can think about is getting a referral. I was so hopeful to hear by Christmas, but since there haven't been any referrals in a long time, I think that we're going to be waiting several more months. Kind of depressing. To keep it on a positive note, we have Christmas coming up and today is a sunny day, so lets go enjoy it.

    Good luck with the writing. Having something you enjoy is so important. Take care.

  4. Hello Amber! Congratulations on your 8 months mark!

    I know sometimes it can be hard.. but I know how projects help us go through hard time.. If you like to write then GO! :D You'll pass time, you'll do something you like to do, and you will be happy about yourself! When you kid will be here, you will not have to time to get to it.. it is now time! :D

    We will be at the breakfast this weekend. Hope to see you two there! :D

    Take care,


  5. It's great to hear an update from you, Amber. I'm sorry to hear that the wait has gotten hard again. I've never been a patient person either, so I totally hear you. I'm thinking of all of you waiting lately, wishing that referrals would just start streaming in like crazy.

  6. Hang in there. The waiting is really hard. I remember while we were waiting, how hard it was to hear about people expecting or even seeing people with their little ones. My heart just ached for my little one. I kept this verse close to me at all times: "Now faith is being sure of what you hope for, and certain of what you can not see." Hebrews 11:1
    God is working a His timing..which is hard. I'm not a patient person, either. You are in my prayers! And good luck on your writing projects. I write, too, it is a great stress release!

  7. Hi.
    Thanks for your information and story concerning Filipino adoption. My husband and I are beginning to look into the process ourselves. I am half Filipino, so the Philippines has always been our country of choice, but I didn't know how long the wait could be.

    Good luck!